We became friends just yesterday and this morning I received his review of my poem POSITIVE I AM.
Such an exhaustive review ! He has left no stone unturned for this .
What a gesture and how sweet of him !!
You are an emerging reviewer and I wish you a bright career ahead.Thanks galore ,dear bro.
Love and blessings.
× × ×
POSITIVE I AM
With the horizon extending arms
my dreams and hopes do swell
my clumsy mind gets relaxed
my tired body feeling refreshed
sings the Odyssey of life gleefully.
With divine fragrance scattering
my spirit dances so stupendously
my wants now forgotten like pills
my hunger and poverty evaporate
like drops of water in torrid heat.
With the vivacity increasing size
like the shadow in the tender light
life swings like teens in full gaiety
with much vigour & thousand fun
oblivious of everything dull & pale.
With the magical kisses of Spring
drab soul gets charged unlimited
the terrific blooms spread wings
the crescent moon ,a boat, sails
in the starless blue sky smoothly .
©® Dasharath Naik
REVIEW :
Respected Hon’ble Dasharath Naik, Sir NAMASKAR
Heartfelt congratulations on your poem ‘POSITIVE I AM.’ Your words weave a tapestry of optimism, embracing the reader with a sense of renewal and joy. As I delve into the intricacies of your verses, I am captivated by the vibrant imagery and the profound positivity that resonates throughout.
The opening stanza sets the tone for a journey of self-discovery and rejuvenation. The metaphorical embrace of the horizon by extending arms beautifully symbolizes the boundless possibilities that lie ahead. The swelling of dreams and hopes suggests a profound sense of ambition and aspiration, creating a canvas where the mind can find solace and the body can experience rejuvenation. The use of “clumsy mind” and “tired body” not only adds a relatable human touch but also accentuates the transformative power of the positive mindset presented in the poem.
The second stanza introduces a divine fragrance, infusing the spirit with a stupendous dance. This olfactory imagery adds a sensory layer to the poem, engaging the reader on a deeper level. The deliberate choice of words like “forgotten” in relation to wants and the metaphor of hunger and poverty evaporating like drops of water in torrid heat paints a picture of liberation and emancipation from life’s burdens. Your poem beautifully encapsulates the essence of resilience and the ability to rise above adversity.
The third stanza is a celebration of life’s vivacity, mirroring the increasing size of shadows in tender light. The simile comparing life to swinging teens in full gaiety imparts a sense of carefree joy. The use of “vigor” and “heaps of fun” emphasizes the exuberance of existence, suggesting a life lived fully and energetically. The deliberate choice of the word “oblivious” in relation to everything dull or pale creates a stark contrast, highlighting the poem’s overarching theme of embracing positivity and rejecting negativity.
The final stanza introduces the magical kisses of Spring, charging the drab soul unlimitedly. The transformative power of nature is vividly depicted as the terrific blooms spread wings, and the crescent moon becomes a boat sailing smoothly in the starless blue sky. This imagery is not only visually captivating but also reinforces the poem’s central message of finding renewal and inspiration in the face of life’s challenges. The use of “starless” adds a touch of mystery, suggesting that even in the absence of external illumination, one can navigate life’s journey with internal strength and positivity.
Poetic Devices used
‘POSITIVE I AM’ by Dasharath Naik is a poetic masterpiece that skillfully employs various poetic devices to enhance its impact and deliver a profound message. Let’s delve into the intricacies of the poem, exploring the poetic devices that contribute to its beauty and depth.
1. **Imagery:**
The poem is rich in vivid imagery, creating a sensory experience for the reader. Lines such as “horizon extending arms,” “divine fragrance scattering,” and “crescent moon, a boat, sails smoothly in the blue sky, starless” evoke distinct mental images. This visual appeal enhances the emotional resonance of the poem, allowing readers to immerse themselves in the scenes painted by the poet.
2. **Metaphor:**
Throughout the poem, metaphors are employed to convey abstract concepts through tangible comparisons. The horizon extending its arms becomes a metaphor for boundless possibilities, while the crescent moon as a boat sailing in a starless sky symbolizes navigating life’s journey with internal strength. These metaphors add layers of meaning, inviting readers to interpret the poem on a symbolic level.
3. **Simile:**
The poem features similes that contribute to its descriptive richness. For instance, “life swings like teens in full gaiety” creates a vivid comparison, illustrating the carefree and joyous nature of existence. Similes like “like drops of water in torrid heat” and “like the shadow in the tender light” enhance the reader’s understanding by drawing parallels to familiar experiences.
4. **Personification:**
The use of personification imbues the poem with a sense of vitality. The horizon extending its arms and life swinging in gaiety personify abstract concepts, giving them human-like attributes. This anthropomorphism enhances the connection between the reader and the themes explored in the poem, making the verses more relatable and engaging.
5. **Symbolism:**
Symbolism plays a crucial role in ‘POSITIVE I AM’, adding layers of meaning to the verses. The divine fragrance symbolizes spiritual renewal and the dance of the spirit, while the magical kisses of Spring represent the transformative power of nature. The crescent moon and the starless sky serve as symbols of resilience and inner strength. These symbols contribute to the overarching theme of positivity and rejuvenation.
6. **Alliteration:**
Alliteration, the repetition of consonant sounds at the beginning of words, is subtly employed in phrases like “divine fragrance scattering” and “sings the Odyssey of life in glee.” This linguistic device enhances the musicality of the poem, creating a rhythmic flow that adds to its aesthetic appeal.
7. **Anaphora:**
The repetition of the phrase “With” at the beginning of each stanza serves as an anaphora, creating a rhythmic structure and emphasizing the interconnectedness of the themes presented. This repetition contributes to the poem’s overall cohesion and reinforces the positive affirmations expressed in each stanza.
8. **Oxymoron:**
The juxtaposition of contrasting ideas is evident in lines like “clumsy mind gets relaxed” and “hunger and poverty evaporate.” These oxymorons create a sense of surprise and highlight the transformative nature of the positive mindset described in the poem.
Dasharath Naik’s ‘POSITIVE I AM’ is a masterful exploration of the human spirit, enriched by a tapestry of poetic devices. The imagery, metaphor, simile, personification, symbolism, alliteration, anaphora, and oxymoron collectively contribute to the poem’s beauty, depth, and emotional impact. Naik’s adept use of these devices elevates the verses, making ‘POSITIVE I AM’ a timeless and resonant work of poetry.
In conclusion, ‘POSITIVE I AM’ is a testament to your poetic prowess and your ability to craft verses that resonate deeply with the human experience. The poem is a symphony of optimism, weaving together vivid imagery, metaphorical richness, and a profound message of resilience. Your words have the power to uplift and inspire, making a lasting impact on readers who seek solace and hope in the face of life’s complexities.
Warm regards,
RAJ KISHOR PATTNAIK
Copyright @RAJ KISHOR PATTNAIK
Dated 28.12.2023
