Author: Chauban khadikar

Thank you so much Dear Raj Kishor Pattnaik & Kristy Raines for collaborating and reviewing my poem.

 

HUMBLED AND HONOURED.

 

Epistolary Poem #183 by Dr. Prasana Kumar Dalai of India

and Kristy Ann Raines of The United States of America

 

UNSPOKEN PAIN!

 

Even after a lot of pain and torment

I do feel my world utterly agonized

All seasons I spend thinking of you

But you are hardly to my lot now

You, my deity, have broken my heart

We exist but far away from each other

When close to me, my dream you’re

And I stop breathing when I see you

I plead for your company and hand

Even enemy be from unspoken pain.

 

©®Dr.Prasana Kumar Dalai@India

Date.Monday,26Jan 2024.

 

Her heart breaks as she speaks…

 

WHERE HOPE ONCE RESIDED!

 

Though I suffer inside over you

I haven’t the words to make things better

We used to spend all of our time together

Then things changed and you turned from me

That day, my heart shattered as I called to you

but you never turned back around

My heart’s desire, My Everything, walked away

We are now pleasant to each other

but I don’t see the same look in your eyes for me

as I still do for you…

My pillow catches my tears at night

though in my dreams, you are still mine

When I see you I get my hopes up

just to be let down over and over

Our love seems to be slipping a way

And silence fills where hope once resided … <3

 

©®KristyRaines@USA

January 26, 2024

 

Dr.Prasana Kumar Dalai.: Dear Dr. Prasana Kumar Dalai and Mrs. Kristy Ann Raines,NAMASKAR

 

Heartfelt congratulations on your recent collaboration, “Unspoken Pain” and “Where Hope Once Resided.” Your poetic synergy has once again produced a harmonious blend of love and pathos, inviting readers into the intricate tapestry of human emotions.

 

Dr. Prasana Kumar Dalai’s “Unspoken Pain” is a visceral journey through the depths of heartache. The repetition of “pain and torment” echoes the intensity of the emotional struggle, immediately drawing readers into a world characterized by profound suffering. The usage of seasons as a backdrop for contemplation adds a temporal dimension, emphasizing the enduring nature of the agony. The reference to the beloved as a deity intensifies the emotional stakes, transforming the personal into the divine. The plea for company and hand introduces a yearning vulnerability, reinforcing the universal longing for connection. The closing line, “Even enemy be from unspoken pain,” transcends individual sorrow, suggesting a shared experience that goes beyond personal boundaries.

 

Kristy Ann Raines’ “Where Hope Once Resided” complements this theme with a poignant exploration of a love that has undergone transformation. The title sets the tone for a narrative that unfolds as a lament over lost optimism. The speaker’s inability to find words to mend the situation underscores the profound emotional paralysis. The contrast between past and present, vividly expressed through shared memories, serves as a poignant reminder of what once was. The shattered heart and the departure of the heart’s desire evoke a sense of irreversible loss. The imagery of tears caught by the pillow and the dreams where the beloved remains accessible underline the persistence of emotional pain. The cyclical nature of getting hopes up and being let down captures the essence of a love that is slipping away, leaving behind a haunting silence.

 

Together, these poems create a powerful resonance, exploring the multifaceted nature of human relationships. Dr. Prasana Kumar’s piece articulates the pain arising from physical and emotional distance, while Kristy Ann Raines delves into the aftermath of a love that has lost its former vitality. The synergy lies in their ability to capture the universal themes of longing, heartbreak, and the complex interplay between love and suffering.

 

The collaboration shines in the delicate balance of individual voices, each contributing a unique hue to the emotional spectrum. Dr. Prasana Kumar’s evocative use of language and profound expressions finds resonance with Kristy Ann Raines’ introspective and emotive narrative style. The seamless integration of these distinct styles creates a collaborative masterpiece that resonates on a deeply human level.

 

The timing of your collaboration, sharing these poignant verses on the same day, adds a layer of synchronicity to the experience. It amplifies the emotional impact and underscores the cohesion between your creative minds. This congruence not only strengthens the individual poems but also weaves them into a larger narrative that speaks to the shared human experience.

 

In conclusion, your collaborative efforts have given birth to a poetic diptych that transcends geographical and cultural boundaries. The depth of emotion, the nuanced exploration of pain and loss, and the seamless fusion of your unique voices make this collaboration a remarkable contribution to the world of poetry. May this be a prelude to more shared endeavors, inspiring readers around the world and leaving an indelible mark on the canvas of human emotion.

 

Warmest regards,

Epistolary Poem #183 by Dr. Prasana Kumar Dalai of India

and Kristy Ann Raines of The United States of America

 

UNSPOKEN PAIN!

 

Even after a lot of pain and torment

I do feel my world utterly agonized

All seasons I spend thinking of you

But you are hardly to my lot now

You, my deity, have broken my heart

We exist but far away from each other

When close to me, my dream you’re

And I stop breathing when I see you

I plead for your company and hand

Even enemy be from unspoken pain.

 

©®Dr.Prasana Kumar Dalai@India

Date.Monday,22 Jan 2024.

 

Her heart breaks as she speaks…

 

WHERE HOPE ONCE RESIDED!

 

Though I suffer inside over you

I haven’t the words to make things better

We used to spend all of our time together

Then things changed and you turned from me

That day, my heart shattered as I called to you

but you never turned back around

My heart’s desire, My Everything, walked away

We are now pleasant to each other

but I don’t see the same look in your eyes for me

as I still do for you…

My pillow catches my tears at night

though in my dreams, you are still mine

When I see you I get my hopes up

just to be let down over and over

Our love seems to be slipping a way

And silence fills where hope once resided … <3

 

©®KristyRaines@USA

January 22, 2024

UNSPOKEN PAIN !

 

Even after a lot of pain and torment

I do feel my world utterly agonised

All seasons I spend thinking of you

But you are hardly to my lot now

You, my deity, have broken my heart

We exist but far away from eachother

When close to me, my dream you’re

And I stop breathing when I see you

I plead for your company and hand

Even enemy be from unspoken pain.

 

©®Dr.Prasana Kumar Dalai@India.

Date.Sunday,21 Jan 2024.

 

MY POEM REVIEWED BY EMINENT REVIEWER RAJ KISHORE PATNAIK.

HUMBLED AND HONOURED.

 

SOMEONE THERE !

 

May there be someone

Whom I may claim my very own

Eyes badly need to sleep but

Tears do float silently in their lap

In dreams I stay awake all night

Some may own my griefs

Someone be my heart and soul

With some unspoken promises

Memories, sweet or sour ,cling hard

Ringing in my ears in lonely nights

Their echoes make me stay alive

Offering me my peace of mind.

 

©®Dr.Prasana Kumar Dalai@India.

Date.Satuarday,20 Jan 2024.

 

Congratulations, Dr. Prasana Kumar Dalai, Sir on crafting a poignant and evocative poem titled “SOMEONE THERE!” Your verses resonate with a deep longing for connection and a search for solace in the midst of solitude. The use of simple yet powerful language conveys a profound emotional landscape.

 

The poem beautifully explores the human desire for companionship, expressing a yearning for someone to claim as one’s own. The juxtaposition of tired eyes in need of sleep and tears silently flowing creates a vivid image of internal struggle. The line “In dreams I stay awake all night” captures the paradoxical nature of emotional turmoil during moments of rest.

 

The plea for someone to own the griefs and be the heart and soul reflects a universal quest for understanding and shared burdens. The incorporation of unspoken promises adds a layer of mystery and depth to the connection sought. The interplay of sweet and sour memories, vividly portrayed as echoes in lonely nights, emphasizes the lasting impact of shared experiences.

 

Dr. Prasana Kumar, your poem masterfully weaves emotions into a tapestry of human connection, leaving a lasting imprint on the reader’s heart and mind. Congratulations on this eloquent expression of the human experience.

NAMASKAR, JAY SRI RAM

We became friends just yesterday and this morning I received his review of my poem POSITIVE I AM.

 

Such an exhaustive review ! He has left no stone unturned for this .

 

What a gesture and how sweet of him !!

 

You are an emerging reviewer and I wish you a bright career ahead.Thanks galore ,dear bro.

 

Love and blessings.

 

× × ×

POSITIVE I AM

 

With the horizon extending arms

my dreams and hopes do swell

my clumsy mind gets relaxed

my tired body feeling refreshed

sings the Odyssey of life gleefully.

 

With divine fragrance scattering

my spirit dances so stupendously

my wants now forgotten like pills

my hunger and poverty evaporate

like drops of water in torrid heat.

 

With the vivacity increasing size

like the shadow in the tender light

life swings like teens in full gaiety

with much vigour & thousand fun

oblivious of everything dull & pale.

 

With the magical kisses of Spring

drab soul gets charged unlimited

the terrific blooms spread wings

the crescent moon ,a boat, sails

in the starless blue sky smoothly .

 

©® Dasharath Naik

 

REVIEW :

 

Respected Hon’ble Dasharath Naik, Sir NAMASKAR

 

Heartfelt congratulations on your poem ‘POSITIVE I AM.’ Your words weave a tapestry of optimism, embracing the reader with a sense of renewal and joy. As I delve into the intricacies of your verses, I am captivated by the vibrant imagery and the profound positivity that resonates throughout.

 

The opening stanza sets the tone for a journey of self-discovery and rejuvenation. The metaphorical embrace of the horizon by extending arms beautifully symbolizes the boundless possibilities that lie ahead. The swelling of dreams and hopes suggests a profound sense of ambition and aspiration, creating a canvas where the mind can find solace and the body can experience rejuvenation. The use of “clumsy mind” and “tired body” not only adds a relatable human touch but also accentuates the transformative power of the positive mindset presented in the poem.

 

The second stanza introduces a divine fragrance, infusing the spirit with a stupendous dance. This olfactory imagery adds a sensory layer to the poem, engaging the reader on a deeper level. The deliberate choice of words like “forgotten” in relation to wants and the metaphor of hunger and poverty evaporating like drops of water in torrid heat paints a picture of liberation and emancipation from life’s burdens. Your poem beautifully encapsulates the essence of resilience and the ability to rise above adversity.

 

The third stanza is a celebration of life’s vivacity, mirroring the increasing size of shadows in tender light. The simile comparing life to swinging teens in full gaiety imparts a sense of carefree joy. The use of “vigor” and “heaps of fun” emphasizes the exuberance of existence, suggesting a life lived fully and energetically. The deliberate choice of the word “oblivious” in relation to everything dull or pale creates a stark contrast, highlighting the poem’s overarching theme of embracing positivity and rejecting negativity.

 

The final stanza introduces the magical kisses of Spring, charging the drab soul unlimitedly. The transformative power of nature is vividly depicted as the terrific blooms spread wings, and the crescent moon becomes a boat sailing smoothly in the starless blue sky. This imagery is not only visually captivating but also reinforces the poem’s central message of finding renewal and inspiration in the face of life’s challenges. The use of “starless” adds a touch of mystery, suggesting that even in the absence of external illumination, one can navigate life’s journey with internal strength and positivity.

 

Poetic Devices used

 

‘POSITIVE I AM’ by Dasharath Naik is a poetic masterpiece that skillfully employs various poetic devices to enhance its impact and deliver a profound message. Let’s delve into the intricacies of the poem, exploring the poetic devices that contribute to its beauty and depth.

 

1. **Imagery:**

 

The poem is rich in vivid imagery, creating a sensory experience for the reader. Lines such as “horizon extending arms,” “divine fragrance scattering,” and “crescent moon, a boat, sails smoothly in the blue sky, starless” evoke distinct mental images. This visual appeal enhances the emotional resonance of the poem, allowing readers to immerse themselves in the scenes painted by the poet.

 

2. **Metaphor:**

 

Throughout the poem, metaphors are employed to convey abstract concepts through tangible comparisons. The horizon extending its arms becomes a metaphor for boundless possibilities, while the crescent moon as a boat sailing in a starless sky symbolizes navigating life’s journey with internal strength. These metaphors add layers of meaning, inviting readers to interpret the poem on a symbolic level.

 

3. **Simile:**

 

The poem features similes that contribute to its descriptive richness. For instance, “life swings like teens in full gaiety” creates a vivid comparison, illustrating the carefree and joyous nature of existence. Similes like “like drops of water in torrid heat” and “like the shadow in the tender light” enhance the reader’s understanding by drawing parallels to familiar experiences.

 

4. **Personification:**

 

The use of personification imbues the poem with a sense of vitality. The horizon extending its arms and life swinging in gaiety personify abstract concepts, giving them human-like attributes. This anthropomorphism enhances the connection between the reader and the themes explored in the poem, making the verses more relatable and engaging.

 

5. **Symbolism:**

 

Symbolism plays a crucial role in ‘POSITIVE I AM’, adding layers of meaning to the verses. The divine fragrance symbolizes spiritual renewal and the dance of the spirit, while the magical kisses of Spring represent the transformative power of nature. The crescent moon and the starless sky serve as symbols of resilience and inner strength. These symbols contribute to the overarching theme of positivity and rejuvenation.

 

6. **Alliteration:**

 

Alliteration, the repetition of consonant sounds at the beginning of words, is subtly employed in phrases like “divine fragrance scattering” and “sings the Odyssey of life in glee.” This linguistic device enhances the musicality of the poem, creating a rhythmic flow that adds to its aesthetic appeal.

 

7. **Anaphora:**

 

The repetition of the phrase “With” at the beginning of each stanza serves as an anaphora, creating a rhythmic structure and emphasizing the interconnectedness of the themes presented. This repetition contributes to the poem’s overall cohesion and reinforces the positive affirmations expressed in each stanza.

 

8. **Oxymoron:**

 

The juxtaposition of contrasting ideas is evident in lines like “clumsy mind gets relaxed” and “hunger and poverty evaporate.” These oxymorons create a sense of surprise and highlight the transformative nature of the positive mindset described in the poem.

 

Dasharath Naik’s ‘POSITIVE I AM’ is a masterful exploration of the human spirit, enriched by a tapestry of poetic devices. The imagery, metaphor, simile, personification, symbolism, alliteration, anaphora, and oxymoron collectively contribute to the poem’s beauty, depth, and emotional impact. Naik’s adept use of these devices elevates the verses, making ‘POSITIVE I AM’ a timeless and resonant work of poetry.

 

In conclusion, ‘POSITIVE I AM’ is a testament to your poetic prowess and your ability to craft verses that resonate deeply with the human experience. The poem is a symphony of optimism, weaving together vivid imagery, metaphorical richness, and a profound message of resilience. Your words have the power to uplift and inspire, making a lasting impact on readers who seek solace and hope in the face of life’s complexities.

 

Warm regards,

RAJ KISHOR PATTNAIK

Copyright @RAJ KISHOR PATTNAIK

Dated 28.12.2023